Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Phil Robertson Quotes and Wisdom

  • Ducks are a lot like women...they don't like mud on their butts.
  • "If you catch squirrels for your woman she will never cut you off in bed."
  • The more make up a woman wears the more she's tryin to hide. Make up can hide a lot of evil.
  •  She may be an ugly woman but she if cooks squirrel and dumplins, that's the woman you go after. 
  •  "In a subdivision, you call 911. At home, I AM 911 ! " 
  •  "I'm a low tech man in a high tech world."
  • "It's time to pee on the fire and call in the dogs boys."
  • ''I need to take a leak but there ain't no cracks in this building''
  • "Now we're cooking with peanut oil"
  • I want my grandkids to grow up in the great outdoors. The last thing I want is for them to grow up to be nerds
  • "Women with whiskers... its a bummer."
  • "Ya'll might want to go to Walmart and pick up a personality."

  • Better a days catch of fish than a lifetime of crabs.
  • I don't want my grandkids comin to me sayin " Papa i got syphillis ".. I know where that comes from.
  • Don't touch her below the neck until you sign the dotted line.
  • Life is good! Color TV... A Commode that flushes...
  • "All I need in a house is a place to eat, sleep, and a back room to chase Miss Kay around and I can do that right here, NOOOOOOO Problem."
  • I'm just glad I didn't have a house full of girls, seems like a nightmare to me
  • I'm trying to teach these grandkids of mine the Robertson way
  • I think our culture needs more grandpas ridin along with grandson and girlfriend
  • One more yuppy girl came a little closer to becoming a redneck today, America may be saved yet
  • City folk think these beavers are cute and cuddly animals, but they are destructors..
  • When I see bright lights coming from a pretty good distance... I'm gone
  • His redneck blood is thinning
  • "Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas."
  • "If you can find a nice pretty country girl that can cook and carries her bible, now there's a woman."
  • "Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of em."  

  • "Too many days in the subdivision. Snakes fall out of trees, you go a-runnin."  
  • You need to be able to take a leak in your yard without someone saying, "hey what's he doing".
  • I don't do the restaurant gigs, nooo, especially not in the middle of a beaver killing.
  • If we find every beaver dam on the property, load it with dynamite that'll be a start.
  • Man against furry animals, I'll win before it's over.
  • He can naw through a 2x6 like a knife going through butter, he's the super beaver.
  • "Mainly I use the grand kids, when it comes to crawfishin, as a labor pool"
  • That’s the sound of a bullfrog losing its head.
  • Most of Si's stories... you can classify them as SI-ence fiction.
  • I removed the gizzards from the intestines and all the girls started to squeal.
  • We don't need a world full of straight A students, I'm an ole C average man myself, Si, he's probably C minus"



Chuck Norris Jokes / Facts

Jeff Foxworthy - You Might Be a Redneck Jokes

Jase Robertson Funny Quotes

Phil Robertson Quotes/Sayings/Wisdom

Larry The Cable Guy Jokes/Sayings

Si Robertson's Sayings & Funny Quotes:

Bill Engvall: Here's Your Sign

Interesting Fun Facts: Things You Probably Didn't Know:

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